Sunday, November 27, 2011

Apparently, being 40 soon is playing on my mind

I'm not usually one to really dwell on things. Stuff happens, you deal with it. It was the attitude I was brought up with, and has (mostly) been the way of things for as long as I can remember. Just lately though, I've become acutely aware of the passage of time. My kids seem to be growing up faster than ever. I feel that I never have the time to squeeze everything in; whether its in a single day (go to the gym, spend the necessary amount of time at a demanding job, get home in time to see the kids, spend quality time with the wife, have an appropriate amount of personal time - the balance of which I still have yet to master) or over a weekend, a holiday weekend, or a vacation. Things seem to be moving faster than ever.

It took me a while, but I know the cause...

I'm nearly 40.

"Landmark" birthdays have typically not been an issue for me. 30, for example, came and went without a blip. 40 is really bearing down on me though. It has become a psychological line in the sand and a temporal reference point against which I'm judging all the crap that I seem unable to get a handle on; weight loss, fitness regimen, achievements at work, and a whole host of other bullshit that otherwise wouldn't have a clock on them that casts a shadow of inadequacy over an otherwise perfectly adequate existence.

It's time to get a handle on this stuff, and sift through the crap before the big day arrives.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I can empathise, and while I'm coming up ten years behind you, I feel much the same way about a lot of things. I kind of feel the direction I should be going in should be "sorted" by now, but instead I find myself pulled in at least two different directions, which possibly conflict with one another.

Ah well, when the time comes, you just have to deal and keep going. It's how it's always been, how it always will be. And in retrospect, those "big" moments often don't seem quite so bad once they've been and gone. Mostly.